Maybe my Affirmations Manifested

I used to stroll along the Singapore River with my husband (then boyfriend) and take in the view of towering commercial buildings lined closely against each other. Most had prestigious banking signs shining at the top of most buildings. During those times I frequently pointed to those buildings across the river and asked, “How do you think it feels to work in one of those?” To which he would sometimes answer with an “I don’t know”and sometimes not.

And then maybe it was ten years later or lesser, I finally had the chance to work in one of these buildings and be part of the office masses in the financial district. The idle soul stopped being idle for a while and was working long hours at a 9-to-9 job.

The office had sophisticated decor and had a million-dollar view of the sea blocked only by Marina Bay Sands, and for the first time I felt a genuine exhilaration at a job that actually came quite close to my affirmation – which was to have a wonderful job with a wonderful pay (this is subjective), beautiful surroundings and to utilise my strengths (doing routine, systematic work). In addition, I was even working with inventory (albeit holdings which are non-physical assets) which was the type of work I loved to do in my previous jobs.. I’d make sure that inventory was in their right place and there were sufficient units to cope with demand. Also the team was small and made up of introverts. For the most part, I lunched freely and alone. In short, it was the ideal job.

The only thing was.. the work didn’t make my heart sing with joy. Even though I like doing that scope of work, it wasn’t giving me joy like I thought it will. And within a short period of time, the drudgery of work, challenges and long hours took its toll over the initial exhilaration.

Currently, it’s pretty clear where I ended up. And am trying to pick myself up again after a period of mild depression to generate another affirmation. But if I evaluated the situation then, I think my affirmation did work after all even though it took a loooong time and sustained effort, not to mention choosing foolish faith over logical doubt.  You might think it would be easier for me to revise my affirmation and try again; or that my faith would be stronger with this result. It doesn’t, not until I clear this lingering sense of failure.

My takeaway is that

  1. Affirmations do give you what you ask for especially when you have defined the parameters e.g. beautiful workplace, and sometimes even more ie. working with units of inventory in a financial institution, which wasn’t in my affirmation but made the position even more ideal, and also having an introverted team helped.
  2. Affirmations do not prevent the challenges that comes with the position. I still faced the usual long working hours, people problems, authority problems etc. (Hmm, maybe if you add it into your affirmation to clear these..)
  3.  I think the joy factor is really the deal sealer. For my case, if you read some articles on Myer-Briggs, the type of work I affirmed to do did not utilise my auxiliary function, which is what I was really supposed to develop in my work.

So this time round, let me try again – to recite my affirmations out loud once a day (or if you’re like me having problems sticking to a fixed routine, then every other day when you remember, just that the time of manifestation might vary). It will be another period of uncertainty and maintaining that blind faith. And if there are results you can bet it will be fodder for another post. Till then, may your wishes come true.

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