A Drop-in for 2017

It’s been quite a while since the previous post. The idle soul hasn’t been that idle recently, what with mood swings and such, finding employment in less stellar economic times and preparing for a change of residence. I thought of my blog every now and then, and thought it had been a long while since I dropped in to write.

Towards the end of the year (2016), it always starts with the onset of winter days, the cool air that smells of ages past that drifts into your window, that reminds of lost days. And then Christmas comes, when the world seems to rush into a buying frenzy, while you’re at a standstill, not knowing what to do. Present exchanges among colleagues, while you’re unemployed. Large group meet-ups, while you feel like you drift alone. Then comes Chinese New Year, and you find that the year had already passed you by.

I have always been a seeker, trying to find what makes me tick so that I can capture the “ideal” job. I have read topics such as Astrology, Numerology, Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, Destiny Cards, Mayan Astrology, Psychic Readings, Handwriting Analysis, Face Reading, Bazi Profiling etc; just so that I can compile a list of my strengths and work it out from there. But I think I overestimate the endurance of human memories. No matter how much information I compile and think that I know about myself, each time I jump into a topic, the older ones get left behind. I also underestimate the wisdom contained in these studies – they have been giving me similar messages but I choose to ignore them. You hope that you can find a place in society, working productively in a day job but realise you are not meant to be a “fitter” in any way. Too restless with routine, too blind with details, too emotional and non-logical, too sensitive with dynamic environments.

When you stop finding excuses for your failures, that is all there is – an underlying sense of greyness, bleakness following behind your footsteps. I had been engrossed with the Myers-Briggs a second time recently. This time reading about my functional stacks in addition with my INFP profile, and the ideal careers that can go with it. Same-old, same-old. I probably need to work with who I already am and the characteristics that I keep denying aren’t me.

On a side note, I thought about going to Lynda Woolf for a reading again. (Bad habit of mine to turn to readers when I feel lost in my life) And when I googled her name, I suddenly saw my blog entry “My Experience with Psychic Readings” pop up in the first page and had a shock, since Google sorts its results by an algorithm that includes variables such relevance, quality content and page views. Now I am pretty amused by the stats, as to date that article alone has 24 page views and with no updates, has generated an average of 1 view every few days from search engines.

Chinese New Year is around the corner, therefore I will take the chance to wish all my readers a happy holiday.


Sleep as the Most Important Meal of the Day

Recently I came back from a short trip to Hong Kong. It was a tiring trip. Tiring because it involved a number of people (6 in fact) and also because the itinerary included everything except sufficient sleep and downtime in the hotel room. So while on paper we retired to the room at midnight everyday and only gathered at 8.45am (a good eight plus hours), in reality it was: Reach hotel at midnight, unwind in front of the tv and have supper 30mins, bathe 30 mins, pack the stuff we bought for the day 15 mins, check that everything was ready for tomorrow 15 mins, dry my hair and facial care 30 mins = Sleep at 2am and wake up at 7.30am to get ready. Zero downtime for me since TV didn’t count as relaxation. I had brought my journal but never got around to use it.

As a result, the trip felt unsatisfying and it took me 2 weeks to really recover myself and settle into my schedule prior to the trip, which included daily Reiki, prayer, journal and my job search. The viewpoint of the itinerary creator was that sleep can wait. Yes, probably to some extent and for most young people. But at what cost?

Having been born and lived in urban Singapore all my life, I am no stranger to sleep deprivation. I can still remember the late night cramming for exams, projects and also giving in to the temptation of internet chats and video games, resulting in only 5-6 hours of sleep daily. And not too far off, the stress of balancing home duties, work duties, me time and me-other-half time. And in the peak hours of the early morning, there is always someone in the working crowd who has his head rolling about as they doze off on the trains, much to the chagrin of the ones sitting next to them.

Sleep deprivation is more than detrimental to the sensitive soul and introvert as they process more in their heads. Here are some effects that I felt over the two-week recuperation period:

1. Brain Fogginess

It feels like you are still stuck in a dream state after you wake up. The brain is clogged up and you find yourself having to push yourself for action. I think I usually feel like I haven’t completed my previous task of sleeping and hence my brain doesn’t move forward to doing the next one which is brush my teeth. And if you have to get moving, your motions seem to be on auto-pilot, with no actual awareness of what you are really doing.

2. Lack of Motivation 

This follows after point No.1, that because you are doing most of your tasks on auto-pilot and feeling numb most of the day, quite likely you will be demotivated to complete whatever tasks you intended to do the previous day, making your day quite unproductive.

3. Lack of Focus 

This is also linked to No.1 and No.2. For people who are working on affirmations or prayers, they require a consistent effort and dedication to set aside some time each day for these. It isn’t really the amount of time as it is really about the habit and focus. So you could be reciting the affirmations daily but if you are not focused on it ie. you are only reading aloud, it doesn’t bring about a positive vibe to your psyche. As in a previous post, I tend to read my prayers twice as the first time my mind is usually wandering due to the repetition of it. So if you are sleepy, quite likely you will zone out as you read them and it makes affirmations pretty useless since the mind isn’t focused on it.

4. Falling Asleep during Reiki

There isn’t anything wrong really, if you fall asleep while giving yourself Reiki, because it is such a relaxing treatment. I find that if I am well-rested, I can stay awake and in a relaxed state throughout 35 minutes. But if I am sleep-deprived, I will fall asleep and find myself suddenly awake anytime between 10 minutes to 1 hour later. It kind of peeves me off because I use the 35 minutes of Reiki as sort of a meditation as well. Sleeping is a kind of meditation they say, but what is the use of meditation if you are unconscious of it?

5. Dumbs down Intuition

As an Aries, I feel that the magic and joy of life sometimes comes from being able to explore places on a whim. I do it if I feel an urge to go somewhere or eat something, regardless of whether it’s coming from my intuition or not. Tiredness just dampens that “feel”. This results in a pretty lethargic Aries who doesn’t know where to eat or do even if they have all the time and money in the world.

So everyone can’t do without food and water. Too little and your body tells you it’s hungry or thirsty. It’s a biological mechanism. So is sleep. Similarly, your body tells you that it is sleep-deprived. But so often we choose to stave off sleep in order to do that few more things in the day or to play an extra hour. Can we treat sleep as a meal and feed our bodies first thing in the day? All we need is a change of mindset and understand that sleep can do far worse to a sensitive or introvert compared to majority of humans.

Now how about a sleep buffet over the weekend?


How to Deal with Sudden Overwhelming Feelings of Dread, Anxiety or Doom for the Sensitive Person

Recently I had a friend who messaged saying he suddenly had a strong wave of negative emotion like something bad was going to happen. It was the end of the workday for him and he was driving home. He is a sensitive person but also a well-balanced, functioning human being.

So I asked him some questions to bring some awareness to the emotion he was feeling. Perhaps if you are feeling the same you might want to check in with the following:

1. Are there any negative events whose emotions were unprocessed?

Did you quarrel with someone in the day and then repressed the embarrassment and anger you felt in order to continue your day? Did you feel shortchanged by someone who perhaps cut your queue or tailgated while you were driving but you let it pass so as not to “blow a small matter up”? Or maybe during lunch you were sitting beside a customer who was ranting on and on about a co-worker.

A sensitive person tends to hold these emotions somewhere in their body if they were unprocessed, even if they were forgotten from the conscious mind. For me, it helps if I could sit down immediately to process the event. On retrospect if it was a really small event (compared to the big issues in life) such as having someone snatch your seat on the train or refused to give way at the entrance of the mall, you could practice letting it go and focus on the important things in life. If the event is something recurring, such as a toxic family member that you have to face again the next day, you would have to visualise cutting energy cords between yourself and the toxic person. If it was an incident that caused considerable damage to you mentally, spiritually, physically or otherwise, say being shouted at from a stranger in public without any apology, you would also require some time to re-imagine the event in your mind and reframe the situation in another way to lessen its impact on you.

If left unprocessed, you might have sudden residual feelings that seem to come out of nowhere but was really your subconscious bringing them up to be processed and flushed out of energy.

2. Did you encounter any negative entities?

Ok this is more to the woo-woo part but it happens to apply to friends who encounter entities from the other dimension from time to time. I mean, ghosts. Even though people like you and I can’t see them, the spiritually sensitive also do not see them all the time. Not seeing them does not mean that some negative entity or energy does not see you. Maybe you have attracted one or two due to your high vibration and sensitivity.

If you do not have the habit of imagining white light around you or praying, you might want to do a clearing of your energy by praying to Archangel Michael or any other higher being that you believe in. And no, Michael is not religion-exclusive.

3. Did you eat well in the day and rest well the night before?

This is really a no-brainer but sometimes a hungry stomach can wreak more havoc to a highly sensitive person’s psyche. You might find that these feelings dissipate after a good meal.

4. Are you a growing adolescent?

I am evidently well past the age of adolescent. But I remembered that when I was a teenager I was very emo towards teenage crushes, fellow schoolmates, gossip, exam stress etc. There was no lack of sources for churning emotional upheavals in my life then. Now that I am very much older and have had some life experiences, somehow these have decreased some what in quantity though not intensity.

5. Is it premonition?

I hate to say this, but sometimes these are really warnings from your intuition and if there are really no known psychological or physical causes, you might want to ask for more information to come to you via your intuition. If points 1 to 4 did not apply to you, and the feeling persists (in a steady sort 0f way), perhaps the Universe might be asking you to take notice of something and it does help to pay more attention to it, no matter how scary it feels.

I am no stranger to these overwhelming feelings. While they may end up dominating your life due to the intensity and frequency, know that they will pass over time and processing these emotions always helps as you acknowledge, bring them to awareness and do some work to let them go.

Examples of Help from Spirit

Spiritual books often mention that the Universe helps us when we really need it. I often pray for the Most Benevolent Outcomes towards my desires. This idea was taken from one of the books I read.

I’ve had some small synchronistic incidents recently to share:

17 September 2016 Saturday

I decided to buy a full-sized mineral powder online. It was something I thought about for some time but didn’t go ahead because I felt the money should be saved for daily necessities instead. When I finally decided to make a purchase, I saw they had a 40% on matte powders only – the only product I intended to buy! The discount was quite unheard of and the timing was just nice.

20 September 2016 Tuesday

I visited the supermarket today intending to buy groceries. At the same time, I have a habit of checking the shelf for the below soft-drink which is often out of stock:


It was out of stock. But at the same time a supermarket staff turned in with a trolley of goods and on top it was- China Apple! So I got the drink that I was missing for some time. And being truly delighted I just had to re-iterate my experience here.

If you ask me if there was a grander purpose to these synchronicities, I’m honestly baffled too. They were very minor things and came totally unexpected (ie. something that I have never prayed to have). It’s been a week and other than enjoying my drink and waiting for my item to arrive by mail, there has been no particular connection. Relax and enjoy!


Gratitude, Lost and Found

The other day I took a cab out together with hubby as he went for work. I was holding a handphone and ez-link together in my hand which thereafter I slot both into my pocket. Anyone who has done that before can tell you it’s an almost-certain recipe for disaster, especially if you pull your phone out several times in the day. (You know, like to turn Pokestops.) Not long after on the cab, I realised my ez-link was gone.

I sat in the cab with a glum face after telling hubby the news, since he was the one who topped my card  yesterday with a full $20 that could last me several days. I tend to rarely lose things in public, so I was feeling being pretty regretful. Suddenly the thought of asking for the angels’ help came in to my mind and with a mix of desperation, hopefulness and feelings of silliness, said a prayer in my mind to find my card. Maybe they could watch over it till I get home. Maybe a miracle would happen that no one would notice a bright red ez-link sitting on the ground. Maybe the card might somehow come back to me.

It might be pure coincidence. It might a blessing from the other realm. As soon as I finished my prayer, I happened to shift around in my seat and saw something bright red on the floor of the cab! I had glanced the floor of the cab and it wasn’t there before. In any case, my feelings of gratitude were genuine and gushed over my body in waves as I looked upwards and thanked my angels.

If you are a spiritual person, you might have set up a gratitude practice, like giving thanks to the Universe at the start of the day. Well, I do it too. The problem is the routine of doing the same day after day sometimes makes me feel numb, like saying the words on autopilot. It is these events that trigger off your awareness and create the feelings that make you feel alive again. I am pretty sure down the road I will gradually lose this feeling again unless I consciously replay this event and its associated emotion in my mind. Humans are forgetful creatures.

Similarly, have you ever had a situation where you thought you were going to lose someone dear to you? In that moment, all you can do is to turn to prayer. The urgent, focused desperation for divine help and then things turned round for the better. Do you still remember the feelings after that? Gratitude might be simply too mild to describe.

What I am saying is that most things that humans do everyday – habits, routines, frustrations, problems – creates a certain numbness that slowly creeps in. The next problem that comes along when one is solved. The to-do list that seems too big to tackle with limited time and energy. While I would not wish for traumatic events on anyone, sometimes these are the very events that wake those who have been deeply asleep and far too long. Choose to be awake, or let life be your alarm clock.

Refuse Verbal Abuse

Today I was on the escalator up the train station and accidentally blocked someone who was going up with me. I had moved out of the way but then as he tried to maneuver himself out of the way he stepped into my path again. In the morning rush, it pissed him off and expressed it simply in my face, “F***.” I tried Steve Pavlina’s advice in his article, “Dealing with Difficult People” and pictured the “F***” as a present which I then refused to take with me. Strangely for the first time, it worked to reduce the effect on my mood for the rest of the day. Most of the time, such events upset me greatly and leave my thoughts replaying over and over again. If you have time, try a quick read.