Spiritual Ways to Cheer Yourself Up when Feeling Down

In between the spectrum of emotions from dark, nameless fear to unbounded happiness, there lies an emotion or rather loss of emotion called numbness to life. It can be brought on as an aftereffect from life events such as bankruptcy, loss of loved ones, mid-life crisis or as in my case, job loss. Sometimes, you gather the courage to live again after a good cry, forgive the people you need to forgive, let go of the baggage you need to let go or have a good talk with people who care about you. Other times, nothing dramatic happens in your life and you look for change and yet nothing is happening and daily living starts to feel stagnant. It can feel like you’ve reached a never-ending plateau; like the straight line of a heartbeat monitor with no heartbeat.

If you are having strong, churning emotions that overwhelm you, my other post (“How to Deal with Sudden Overwhelming Feelings of Dread, Anxiety or Doom for the Sensitive Person“) might help as well.

There are some methods which I have used to at least prevent yourself from spiralling down into hopelessness or depression. Unless the human has an optimistic tendency, which in this case he/she does not need to read this post, negative thoughts and doubts usually creep in when there is inactivity for a long period of time. Therefore if you are experiencing this right now, do note it requires some action and perseverance to maintain a routine of whatever-works-for-you until your circumstances or mood changes for the better. Although these are recommended for people who are into spirituality, anyone who is open (or desperate) enough can give these a try.

Prayers Affirmations Visualisations

I can’t stress the importance of these. You probably find it hard to even do the basic stuff to keep your life running such as eating, buying groceries, household chores etc. Even if you don’t feel like even moving from your bed, have a paper scribbled with a prayer/affirmation that you can recite and keep it under your pillow. It requires the least brainpower and calories to do. If you have the energy to lift and look at your phone, that will be more than enough energy to lift and read a piece of paper.

For those who are new to this, let me try to describe the difference between prayers and affirmations. Prayers are statements addressed to the divine requesting for their help in whatever areas you seek help for. You find plenty of these in religious texts and they usually start with “Dear _____, (insert the higher entity that corresponds to your beliefs) “. Affirmations are statements addressed to yourself that bring about positive states in whatever areas you seek change in. You can just write your own. A simple example would be: “I am healthy and well” or “I have wonderful financial abundance”. Most importantly they have to be statements that you can believe in. So if they are too much of a stretch, start small with statements like, “I am healing” or “I am having financial abundance come my way”. You can find some examples from new age/ self-help books, Steve Pavlina‘s website or Kryon channelings. For the last one, unless you plan to start listening to their audio recordings, it is dispersed everywhere…

As of visualisations, it really is just daydreaming, albeit daydreaming in more detail and with sustained concentration.

Journal

This helps to clear the clutter in the head. Write anything that comes up. It’s your journal. I have old resentments, old hurt feelings and frustrations that resurface in my memory even when I thought I had let go. Even though I won’t be able to forgive some of the people involved, writing out my feelings helps me to let go of the incident itself and prevents it from churning in my head.

Music

Listen to music that resonates with your mood. Recently came upon this genre called “Chill”

Being Closer to the Divine

Do whatever that brings you closer to God. For some it could be walking in nature, climbing mountains, being near water, creating art or spending time with a child. For me it feels like God in the clouds and angels in a candle flame, so lighting a candle or staring at a large expanse of sky calms me.

Online Tarot Cards iChing Angel Card Readings

Rather than using them as an accurate divination tool, I usually use their messages as a tool for hope and keep those that resonate. Even with just holding the question in your mind without typing them out, I am sometimes simply amazed at the results. Take care not to view these results too seriously.

Here are my favourite sites. The standard online readings are free.

New Age Store

Trusted Tarot

iChing Online

Angel Messenger

Listen to your Urges

When I am in such a mood, I lose the enthusiasm for things I used to enjoy. Hence if there is one that actually comes up and is reasonably doable, rather than dismiss it I give it more attention and try to allow myself to it. I stopped craving for food and places to go to, but allowed myself to window shop and buy some clothes when I loved them. Because I was in a lull mood and low energy, it didn’t bring me into extreme spending although I did spend more than what I was comfortable with. I got tired after several trips to the malls. Because I followed and fulfilled this rare spate of enthusiasm, it died down after two months. If not I suspect holding back might grow it into obsessive addiction and then more guilt spending.

Be Aware of your Feelings

Related to the point above. Because I have the time to, I was paying more attention to my feelings. So I noticed what made me feel good. While I am at home, I feel a huge resistance to going out of the house and when I listened to my “feels”, it tells me to stay home. Yet when I am actually forced to go outside, I get a slightly positive feeling in my gut. Hence which one is really accurate and true? I am not sure. But because I noticed that I feel bit better being outside, I would make an effort to go out of the house even though I require a deliberate push on myself to overcome the inertia.

Stay Present. Handle the Important Things that Come Up

Also related to point above. In this period, you have low energy and anything that distracts you away from yourself will seem frustrating. In the past I would turn down anything that required energy on my part. That includes weddings, gatherings, helping people out etc. Turn down the people who are taking your energy without anything in return and the unimportant people. Save your energy for the people who truly need your presence. That means loved ones and close friends who really need your help, no matter how hopeless you feel that day. There is only this life to live and let the frustrations flow aside for a while as you give your attention to the present – the loved one who genuinely needs you now. You may find that these events were perhaps meant to help you out of this sludge of despair, if only you chose to take action.

Update 27 Feb 2018 : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLlIF0DEBJc0oJZ4gLipPbg/featured

I’ve been listening to these Reiki videos and the music is simply calming and mood changing.

Trust

Last but not least, trust that you have come to Earth for a reason. And just as the Earth has its cycles, this phase will pass.

 

How the Environment Influences an Introvert’s Creativity

As a child I had the blessing to have a room of my own and an understanding mom who by most part, left me alone to draw, daydream or nap. Often she would engage in cooking delicious meals and baking, leaving the house filled with the sounds of her activities. Once I withdrew into my room with the door closed, the silence was heavenly. It remained this way until adulthood. And then I got married, and moved in with his family.

I would not say that both homes are exact opposites of each other – very different perhaps. For one thing the television seems perpetually on and at a rather high decibel (at least to an introvert’s ears) and so are their talking voices. The home is smaller than my childhood’s and so even with the door closed I can hear the tv and conversations taking place outside within close proximity. And of course, the hubby who likes to blast open the room door every so often to “flit-about” and then go out again.

I must admit, I would like very much to blame my lack of writing output to my surroundings. The effect had been insidious and so gradual that as my mind went blank, so did my desires, urges, promptings and habit to journal. I wondered why and attributed it to perhaps change in interests. But today I got a full day back in my parents’ home and finally was able to get this out. So here’s a list of how-to-kill-an-introvert’s-creativity-fast (or the opposite of which is how the environment nurtures an introvert’s creativity); from personal experience of course:

Noise and Interruptions- 

This is the number one anathema for introverts trying to churn out creative works. Although some might enjoy working from a public cafe amidst some white noise, I am talking about the noise that grates your senses and makes your back prickle. It includes the obvious ones such as drilling, dogs barking, mahjong, and noisy next door neighbours. They are also frequently the ones that are out of our control. I would also like to highlight the less obvious yet devious ones such as poor sound proofing. You hear them at low levels – the sound of the television playing outside the room and the conversations, the sound of footsteps from the upstairs neighbour, some complaining going on outside that is maybe related to you. Or if you are sharing the living premises with roommates, then perhaps they might do their chores outside your room door.

On the surface it does seem very little – something you can choose to ignore since it doesn’t seem to disrupt much. The thing is, introverts have too much going on in their heads to accept any kind of noise and interruptions. As soon as they are conscious of something else outside of their head (ie. a human presence, negative energy), the flow of thoughts stop. Period. Yet, your body might have been maintaining a kind of peaceful energy prior that keeps you from realising the extent of the interruption. But when you try to pick up your thoughts it somehow feels disjointed. Some of my long posts have been created in one sitting, and once in a while when I happen to read them, the insights seemed like it came from another frame of mind.

Bright Light – 

It falls together with noise under the category of stimulation. I suggest a dim room with a lit candle. Draw the curtains in the daytime and switch off the ceiling lights at night. I find candle light gives off a comfortable amount of light that doesn’t vie with my computer monitor and calms the space. A dark room reduces the amount of distraction, especially if your room isn’t at all spanking neat. You might want to choose a study table light too; a light to shine focus on your task at hand.

Breaking Time into Short Periods – 

Ideally the best would be long periods of solitude. I am frequently transversing between two homes, and in between there are chores. The anxiety of breaking away from writing in order to meet a specific time can really cut creativity. It takes a disciplined mind and well-scheduled habits over time to avoid having this drag you down. And I am far from it.

Waking Up to an Alarm Clock – 

I guess this is a luxury that most people don’t have. If the body were allowed to wake up naturally from sleep, it has a higher chance of dream recall. Dreams make good fodder for journalling – and ideas.

Sitting Anywhere to Write – 

When you think of a freelance writer, you’d probably imagine this idyllic scene – the writer gets a burst of inspiration, and reaches out for her notebook that is always close by. She opens her Macbook and sits down by the steps of an art museum and starts typing away.

In reality I think this only works for short bursts of writing, and then what probably follows in a couple of hours is an achy back. In this case, think ergonomics, like a comfortable office chair. Don’t let the feeling of soreness distract you. Believe me, soon the feeling can override whatever ideas you have in your head.

I have placed a stronger emphasis on the home environment since all my writing is done there. The suggestions are mainly for introverts like me who are highly influenced by external stimuli. Some might also say that where there’s a will, there’s a way. But why make the elusive writing process harder for yourself? Perhaps making a few changes will help getting into the flow again. I hope for those whose brain suddenly went dry and are clueless right would find it helpful.

May your writing flow always.

Sleep as the Most Important Meal of the Day

Recently I came back from a short trip to Hong Kong. It was a tiring trip. Tiring because it involved a number of people (6 in fact) and also because the itinerary included everything except sufficient sleep and downtime in the hotel room. So while on paper we retired to the room at midnight everyday and only gathered at 8.45am (a good eight plus hours), in reality it was: Reach hotel at midnight, unwind in front of the tv and have supper 30mins, bathe 30 mins, pack the stuff we bought for the day 15 mins, check that everything was ready for tomorrow 15 mins, dry my hair and facial care 30 mins = Sleep at 2am and wake up at 7.30am to get ready. Zero downtime for me since TV didn’t count as relaxation. I had brought my journal but never got around to use it.

As a result, the trip felt unsatisfying and it took me 2 weeks to really recover myself and settle into my schedule prior to the trip, which included daily Reiki, prayer, journal and my job search. The viewpoint of the itinerary creator was that sleep can wait. Yes, probably to some extent and for most young people. But at what cost?

Having been born and lived in urban Singapore all my life, I am no stranger to sleep deprivation. I can still remember the late night cramming for exams, projects and also giving in to the temptation of internet chats and video games, resulting in only 5-6 hours of sleep daily. And not too far off, the stress of balancing home duties, work duties, me time and me-other-half time. And in the peak hours of the early morning, there is always someone in the working crowd who has his head rolling about as they doze off on the trains, much to the chagrin of the ones sitting next to them.

Sleep deprivation is more than detrimental to the sensitive soul and introvert as they process more in their heads. Here are some effects that I felt over the two-week recuperation period:

1. Brain Fogginess

It feels like you are still stuck in a dream state after you wake up. The brain is clogged up and you find yourself having to push yourself for action. I think I usually feel like I haven’t completed my previous task of sleeping and hence my brain doesn’t move forward to doing the next one which is brush my teeth. And if you have to get moving, your motions seem to be on auto-pilot, with no actual awareness of what you are really doing.

2. Lack of Motivation 

This follows after point No.1, that because you are doing most of your tasks on auto-pilot and feeling numb most of the day, quite likely you will be demotivated to complete whatever tasks you intended to do the previous day, making your day quite unproductive.

3. Lack of Focus 

This is also linked to No.1 and No.2. For people who are working on affirmations or prayers, they require a consistent effort and dedication to set aside some time each day for these. It isn’t really the amount of time as it is really about the habit and focus. So you could be reciting the affirmations daily but if you are not focused on it ie. you are only reading aloud, it doesn’t bring about a positive vibe to your psyche. As in a previous post, I tend to read my prayers twice as the first time my mind is usually wandering due to the repetition of it. So if you are sleepy, quite likely you will zone out as you read them and it makes affirmations pretty useless since the mind isn’t focused on it.

4. Falling Asleep during Reiki

There isn’t anything wrong really, if you fall asleep while giving yourself Reiki, because it is such a relaxing treatment. I find that if I am well-rested, I can stay awake and in a relaxed state throughout 35 minutes. But if I am sleep-deprived, I will fall asleep and find myself suddenly awake anytime between 10 minutes to 1 hour later. It kind of peeves me off because I use the 35 minutes of Reiki as sort of a meditation as well. Sleeping is a kind of meditation they say, but what is the use of meditation if you are unconscious of it?

5. Dumbs down Intuition

As an Aries, I feel that the magic and joy of life sometimes comes from being able to explore places on a whim. I do it if I feel an urge to go somewhere or eat something, regardless of whether it’s coming from my intuition or not. Tiredness just dampens that “feel”. This results in a pretty lethargic Aries who doesn’t know where to eat or do even if they have all the time and money in the world.

So everyone can’t do without food and water. Too little and your body tells you it’s hungry or thirsty. It’s a biological mechanism. So is sleep. Similarly, your body tells you that it is sleep-deprived. But so often we choose to stave off sleep in order to do that few more things in the day or to play an extra hour. Can we treat sleep as a meal and feed our bodies first thing in the day? All we need is a change of mindset and understand that sleep can do far worse to a sensitive or introvert compared to majority of humans.

Now how about a sleep buffet over the weekend?

 

How to Deal with Sudden Overwhelming Feelings of Dread, Anxiety or Doom for the Sensitive Person

Recently I had a friend who messaged saying he suddenly had a strong wave of negative emotion like something bad was going to happen. It was the end of the workday for him and he was driving home. He is a sensitive person but also a well-balanced, functioning human being.

So I asked him some questions to bring some awareness to the emotion he was feeling. Perhaps if you are feeling the same you might want to check in with the following:

1. Are there any negative events whose emotions were unprocessed?

Did you quarrel with someone in the day and then repressed the embarrassment and anger you felt in order to continue your day? Did you feel shortchanged by someone who perhaps cut your queue or tailgated while you were driving but you let it pass so as not to “blow a small matter up”? Or maybe during lunch you were sitting beside a customer who was ranting on and on about a co-worker.

A sensitive person tends to hold these emotions somewhere in their body if they were unprocessed, even if they were forgotten from the conscious mind. For me, it helps if I could sit down immediately to process the event. On retrospect if it was a really small event (compared to the big issues in life) such as having someone snatch your seat on the train or refused to give way at the entrance of the mall, you could practice letting it go and focus on the important things in life. If the event is something recurring, such as a toxic family member that you have to face again the next day, you would have to visualise cutting energy cords between yourself and the toxic person. If it was an incident that caused considerable damage to you mentally, spiritually, physically or otherwise, say being shouted at from a stranger in public without any apology, you would also require some time to re-imagine the event in your mind and reframe the situation in another way to lessen its impact on you.

If left unprocessed, you might have sudden residual feelings that seem to come out of nowhere but was really your subconscious bringing them up to be processed and flushed out of energy.

2. Did you encounter any negative entities?

Ok this is more to the woo-woo part but it happens to apply to friends who encounter entities from the other dimension from time to time. I mean, ghosts. Even though people like you and I can’t see them, the spiritually sensitive also do not see them all the time. Not seeing them does not mean that some negative entity or energy does not see you. Maybe you have attracted one or two due to your high vibration and sensitivity.

If you do not have the habit of imagining white light around you or praying, you might want to do a clearing of your energy by praying to Archangel Michael or any other higher being that you believe in. And no, Michael is not religion-exclusive.

3. Did you eat well in the day and rest well the night before?

This is really a no-brainer but sometimes a hungry stomach can wreak more havoc to a highly sensitive person’s psyche. You might find that these feelings dissipate after a good meal.

4. Are you a growing adolescent?

I am evidently well past the age of adolescent. But I remembered that when I was a teenager I was very emo towards teenage crushes, fellow schoolmates, gossip, exam stress etc. There was no lack of sources for churning emotional upheavals in my life then. Now that I am very much older and have had some life experiences, somehow these have decreased some what in quantity though not intensity.

5. Is it premonition?

I hate to say this, but sometimes these are really warnings from your intuition and if there are really no known psychological or physical causes, you might want to ask for more information to come to you via your intuition. If points 1 to 4 did not apply to you, and the feeling persists (in a steady sort 0f way), perhaps the Universe might be asking you to take notice of something and it does help to pay more attention to it, no matter how scary it feels.

I am no stranger to these overwhelming feelings. While they may end up dominating your life due to the intensity and frequency, know that they will pass over time and processing these emotions always helps as you acknowledge, bring them to awareness and do some work to let them go.

The HSP Iceberg

I have been unemployed for a pretty long time (which explains why my name is the idle soul) and also conducting my job search for a pretty long time as well. To keep tabs, my SO printed a list to fill in the number of resumes that I sent out each day. Similar to corporate ways, I get reprimanded if I fail to send out any and praises when I hit above his baseline of five. He doesn’t care if there were fewer suitable job openings for that day, nor does he care that we had been out the whole day and it was nighttime when we reached home. To him, and any other corporate manager, all he sees is the tip of the iceberg and the rest are just excuses.

I am also living with my SO’s family who seem mainly extroverted with a not-like introvert introvert (aka noisy). I think, it takes a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) living with non-HSPs to really feel the difference. For instance, crowds and long periods of noise are perfectly normal to them. They get by without needing solitude at the end of the day. Frequently they also make snap decisions easily and never, ever ponder about the big mysteries of life.

I show emotions on my face. There was a period of time when I cried frequently over a seemingly purposeless life and my SO just couldn’t get it. He simply felt that I was too idle as an unemployed individual, and spending time on unnecessary thoughts. When we are going out for dinner and my SO asks my opinion for a dinner place, I try to intuit the answer. So an answer sometimes comes after 30 minutes.

What non-HSPs see and acknowledge are simply the tip of the iceberg. Below it is where our great emotions churn when we think about our life, spirit and soul. It is also the place where we keep our deep sentimentality for treasured friends and family. It is where we go to when life moves on after the loss of a loved one and realised that life really, somehow stopped with them. Below the tip comes forth these tears that perhaps are never-ending because we never really know how deep our iceberg goes.

So when we tell others we are a HSP, know that there really is a huge chunk of us that is too huge and scary to show it all at once, not excuses. And as I shake your hand and introduce myself – all you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg.

Solitude – When Two is a Crowd

Solitude: the quality or state of being alone or remote from society – Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I am an introvert and I live with my husband’s family. What used to be a given became a luxury after being part of the other five members living there. Although the dictionary defines solitude as being physically alone, I feel that silence is also a necessary accompaniment to solitude for an introvert. While living alone in a secluded cabin by the woods might sound like the ideal life for some, I feel similar conditions of solitude can be created without putting a person out of civilisation. This refers to a silent room and a long stretch of uninterrupted time (preferably the whole day). I created blocks of solitude time by being in a room of my own, having the door closed and silence outside of the room. The wee hours of the night is also a good time when everyone in the household is asleep.

Solitude is a staple for both sensitives and introverts simply because we need the space to process our minds and feelings. As I journal or colour or simply daydream, I find my energy infusing the space that I am in while I gather my thoughts. It has to be a closed door space, else I feel my attention being dragged thin beyond the room. Like a baby that uses the womb for a 9 month gestation, we introverts use the space of the room to incubate ideas.  And if someone does walk into the room, I tend to lose my train of thought as my attention goes immediately over to the other person.

Even when you are living with your significant other, two can still be a crowd, especially when the other is an extrovert. The other can give you blocks of time, in a room, but from time to time suddenly burst through your door to “say hi” and take interest in what’s on your Macbook screen.

Is this a matter of self-discipline? Partially yes, since I have met many people who are able to concentrate on their task under noisy situations ie, in a classroom or office discussion. I also feel this is also due to the fact that sensitives can’t fully close off their energy to their surroundings. Even if we could shut off on a mind level, subconsciously we would be busy picking up cues from the people and things in the environment.

If sensitives, introverts were to spend sufficient time absorbed in their task, they tend to go into a deeper relaxed or meditative state of mind, of which solitude helps them slip into this state easier. Try working on project with the TV blaring beside you or having a partner talk to you.

Hence if you are an introvert or sensitive and find yourself being stuck in whatever project you are working on, try giving yourself a generous chunk of solitude time and see what comes up for you. And if all these doesn’t convince you of the benefits of some solitude time, all my blog posts were produced being alone in a nice, quiet, dim room – and of course, alone.

Sunsets

Who wouldn’t be moved by a beautiful sunset? Apparently there are many, like my extroverted husband for example. His manner of appreciating sunsets is somewhat different. He might look at it for a while, maybe even take a photo on his iPhone, then return to whatever he was doing before. Seldom does he linger over it like I do, watching the nuances of sunlight change the colour scapes. Neither does it cause waves of emotion in him as it does for me.

I think beauty touches introverts to the core because we take time to feel it fully and process it. To me, sunsets contain the magic of each day – the painter God at play.

Sky

Why I Chose iPhone

Recently I had a chance to change my phone. With glee, I browsed the models in the store after my prior decision to switch away from iPhone. In the end, the model I chose? An iPhone.

Seemingly playing around with the current phone models won’t necessarily make for a good review, but a few details eventually led me back to the iPhone. So you might ask why I wanted to veer off from iPhone from the first place. iPhone was really the vision of Steve Jobs. Without having his vision, it seemed to me that further generations of this phone might just be superficial. Yet, other phones have not caught up yet with the iPhone it seems. Here are the reasons, and I admit mine were rather the mosquitoes than dragons.

• Searching Online – If you wanted to Google for a single term such as “Introvert”, it is fine for all phones. What if you wanted to add on, “and Extrovert”? Most phones require you to re-enter the whole string of terms again.Only iPhone allowed me to stop the search and add on additional search words on top of the ones I already typed. I do searches all the time on my phone – reviews of items to buy, places to eat, movies to watch. It makes no sense for me to re-type everything if I am making 30 searches a day on my phone.

• Intensity of Colours – I did consider a Samsung phone as the closest competitor and the brand to switch over. But staring at the screen display left me a bit queasy as the colour intensity was overwhelming overall, without leaving the eye some rest. I don’t think reducing the light controls of the display could solve it. There have been phones that blatantly copied the display of iPhone, but a quick search online showed they did not have the performance of the iPhone.

So yes, these are the 2 main reasons I chose an iPhone over the others.

How to Deal with Irritating People on the Train – Introvert’s Way

I haven’t decided whether to call myself a highly sensitive person or not, but as far as I know, for the most part of my life I was a timid introvert. Being easily distracted by my environment ( noise, people peering over my shoulder, temperature, you name it ), I found a significant portion of my time after classes in school just trying to find a conducive location to study in. But more importantly, I think I was just sensitive to the energies around me whether it was environment or people, and people do pick up on this, whether on a conscious level or not. Many a time, I have had strangers in public places pick me out from a stream of people to ask for advice- mainly directions and the occasional weirdo who assumes I have absolute knowledge about food or toilet paper. (Yup, someone asked me where to find a particular type of toilet paper in the neighbourhood today, while I was sitting alone in the hawker centre, so I thought I’d just add it in.)

So if other people’s behaviour on the train disturbs you very much, you might want to continue reading. If you are like me, you might just prefer to live and let live (or rather, grit your teeth and bear with it) when you encounter unpleasant situations on the train. But sometimes, it can be pretty helpful to have some methods for timid introverts to counteract in a subdued (aka passive aggressive?) manner before finding your own source of peace in these moments. Sometimes, we don’t want to walk away every time. Do note that this works more on trains during the off-peak hours than the crazy-packed-like-sardine mornings.

Noisy People and People who Stand Too Close in your Personal Space –

Ok, I am going to sidetrack and talk about invisible things called chakras in a human’s energy body. There are lots of literature online if you want to know more, but basically chakras are vortexes of energy in the human energy body. And generally a normal human being walking around can have his or her energy leaked out through the chakras in situations such as being around overbearing people, depressed people or even anything that you perceive negatively. People experience this at different levels, but sensitives and introverts seem to experience this more strongly. The aftereffects of this can be frequently felt as irritation, bodily sensations such as muscle aches or just plain fatigue.

The human body chakras, as perceived by some healers or intuitives, are more prominent in the front of the body than the back, suggesting that energy loss might occur to a greater degree from the front of the body than the back. So this comes back to the question of how this is related to dealing with noisy people and people who seem to latch on to your energy in the train.

By mention of noisy people here excludes people who are blasting their headphones or devices at full volume. Yes they are noisy but these people are usually self-absorbed, and if they want to annoy, they basically want to annoy the whole world. I am talking about noisy kids who treats you like part of their obstacle course on the train. It also applies to the group of teenagers/adults/aunties/uncles who seem to talk a tad too loudly. And the unassuming commuter who, despite having a whole row of empty seats, chooses the one right next to you, usually adults or aunties and uncles. And as the ride goes by they fidget, or make some noise with their mouth, or glance around – a bit too often in your direction. Or just someone who stands too close to you on the train that is making you uncomfortable with their proximity.

What you do is simply to turn in a direction so that they are out of your vision. Do not even allow yourself to see them out of the corner of your eye. Turn your back to them completely. If you are sitting down and mobility is limited, just close your eyes. If they are kids running around, you could look upwards at the ads. Surprisingly it has worked quite well for me. The very act of removing them from my vision had me calm down almost instantly. And sometimes to verify, I would turn back after a few moments and find them facing somewhere else or doing something else or walk off. What I guess is that when a person is reactive to a person or group of people irritating them, the person gives them attention and in some way the energy flows towards the person or group you are giving attention to. I could simply say to ignore them, but it suggests to focus on whatever you are doing and pretend they don’t exist. For sensitives, it sometimes just ain’t enough. And if they do continue to behave the same way after you have turned around, perhaps they are enjoying themselves in their own energy and that is fine too.

Indecent Physical Touch – 

I have had only one such incident as a student in my teens. But I remember the guy wearing a dirty-rose coloured tee, that to this day that I avoid anyone wearing this particular shade. His method was to stand closely next to you, and let his arm go slack such that when the train moves, it would swing with the train’s momentum and  his hand would “accidentally” land on the side of your thigh. When it lands, miraculously it stays there, right on your thigh, and the commuters sitting down would hardly suspect a thing. As timid as  I was, I noticed and managed to move my feet 2 inches away from his arm. The offender then pretended he was shuffling his position and managed to resume sufficient proximity from me to try it again. Eventually I alighted at the next possible station, but not without having a kind of shock over it.

Even to me then, it was a dilemma because it was done so discreetly it didn’t look like a direct outrage of modesty and as timid as I was, it was hard to gather sufficient courage to shout out in public. What I would do differently now is to put more distance between myself and the offender, say take a normal step away but within visible range of the offender such that he would be tempted to take a step towards me. Stare him back for good measure if I am brave enough, and then to move again if he does that. Try repeating it a few more times and we would have pretty much walked half the carriage and gathered sufficient attention from bored commuters on the seats to notice what was happening.

Sleep-deprived –

Ok, we see these all the time. People who uncontrollably lean too far over the side while dozing off and if they got lucky, they got a kind soul’s shoulder as a pillow during the trip. I noticed that even though people were sleepy, somehow they have a sense of direction to fall towards; like whether towards the female student on the left or the burly-looking old man with a beer belly on the right. Or towards the meek-looking lady on the right than the empty seat on the left. To counteract that, I have seen some people position their butts further out of their seats to be out of the alignment of these sleepyheads, so should they fall, they fall into the empty space behind. I guess it works somewhat though it might be better to just stand instead.

Fart – 

People who fart on the train (myself included, sometimes accidents do happen) fall into a delusion believing that no one can detect their fart. I found that sometimes I do not have to hold my nose the whole time when it happens. I can gauge the direction where the fart originated by trial and error. Turn your head in whatever direction in the train. Somehow the opposite direction of the fart’s origin will be quite odourless and can surprisingly remain odourless for quite some time. If you would like to survive the stink bomb attack while remaining in position, simply turn your head towards the opposite direction of the fart.

Pole-stickers – 

People who lose their backbone when they see a pole and have to lean against it, even though your hand is already there. Okay, this depends on how much you want to defend your territory (the pole), even though it is technically no one’s territory. If you do want it so badly, sneakily and slowly turn your hand slightly so that you have your fingers stretched straight out and pointing towards the person’s back so that when he or she leans, your fingers jab into it, making it uncomfortable to lean. And if they turn around to see, you can curl them slightly and pretend nothing happened.

Shoulder Slam Aunties and Uncles – 

This is a more recent phenomena, which I think occurred because of the queue lines that were implemented in the MRT stations from 2009. This and together with the automated barrier doors that were installed after a series of suicide cases of people jumping off the platform onto the train tracks.

In the past, kiasu people who wanted to rush through the train doors would do so right in the middle of the door opening. Now most commuters are gracious enough to follow the queue lines and give way first to the alighting commuters, but increasingly, I meet the shoulder-slam kiasu aunties. These are aunties who follow the queue lines but are usually found standing right in front of the queue ready to barge in when the door opens. You come out from the centre, they barge in from the side, hence the shoulder slam contact.

This is a hard one that I am still figuring out. For one thing, these aunties have their intent set to bang anyone out of the way, and the decision to carry out their act is based on the opponent they face – basically YOU, whether you are frail-looking or again, look like the beer-bellied burly looking uncle. If I do decide to stand my ground instead of giving way, I usually ground myself first by imagining my feet growing into the ground. You know, very much like in Lord of the Rings, how Treebeard braced himself before the waters from the dam hit him in the Battle of Isengard. But usually I still end up with a collision of some kind and boy they are strong. The only time that an auntie actually gave way was when I slung my huge and full backpack in front of my body. I could see it in her stance that she was ready for action and then changed her mind after the doors opened and I came out backpack first.

If you have read this far, I am not too sure if what I have written contributes any value, since some seem nonsensical and sneaky coming from one who has been interested in spirituality for a long time. And dealing with fart on trains seems like the smallest of issues in the grand picture of life. I think there is a choice to everything, including whether you want to let it go in a more loving manner or to stand your ground against these seemingly meaningless things. But sometimes it gets to me that people choose to bully others who look weaker and more than often get their way while people like us bear with it. This article hopefully gives you some relief in your daily train commute.